HOLIDAYS CAN BE GREAT FUN. THEY CAN ALSO BE HELL. Expectations and obligations can turn what’s supposed to be a season of celebration into a nightmare. To help sustain you, here are some things I’ve learned the hard way. Apply as needed:

SET BOUNDARIES. Block off time during the day for yourself. No matter what’s on your schedule – cooking for a group of 30, finalizing the year-end recap or next year’s budget, wrangling a household of relatives with adorable but exhausting toddlers – find a few minutes for yourself: Turn off your phone while you take a bath. Sip a cup of tea – very slowly. Say “No” to the party you really don’t want to go to. Hide under the stairs and read a book. (Kidding. Sort of.) It’s crucial to replenish yourself, otherwise you’ll be miserable, overworked, underslept … and may end up so depleted you land in the hospital with pneumonia. Which would make nobody happy – except perhaps your nemesis, and that’s a holiday present you don’t want to give.

Special Note for people with families that won’t take “No” for an answer (even more crucial if your family is large):